Three things..1. Growing up sucks
2. I found a garden
3. I have no ambition to succeed anymore
1. Growing up sucks, thats pretty much sums it up. Adult doctors are mean and uncaring, adult decisions are hard and complicated, adult situations come with too many strings...I dont know my place...
2. I found a garden..seems right out of secret garden huh? I can even hear that creepy little girl saying it.."
i found a garden, its a secret garden" all in her british voice almost whispering it...anyway. I didn't really find a garden, I just remembered about one on campus. As much as I hate school these last couple of weeks..hell this whole semester, I still love this campus and this place. But, for the first time, I tried to study in the little garden in the middle of the A&S building. Its a little dead and dark, but it s
mells amazing and their are little blooms everywhere. And the trees..wow, I love fall..Fall could be another number in itself. But there was this one tree, its leaves a deep red, it was amazing. Took away
from the evil spanish i was studying. It was perfect...but then, of course, I was kicked out of the g
arden, not literally. More of pushed out because a class was coming out there and there weren't enough chairs and no way could i study with a class sitting all around me, crowded out if you will. Something always finds its way in, something always more important, better...I've learned to accept it... One day. One day, nothing will get in the way of where i'm supposed to be and it will be beautiful.
3. No ambition. I need a fall break, i'm worn out. Stressed to the point of breaking, I see the light but I dont k
now if I know how to relax anymore when I finally reach the light. Plus, no matter what effort I put in, I go no where. I hate spanish. Have I said that before? Just in case not, I'll say it again. I HATE spanish. Work is almost as draining as school. Being a hard worker is giving me no ambition when everyone around me slacks off and works half ass and still gets paid the same or a little less then me, why even try. To bad I can't NOT try...dangit stupid work ethic...
SPEAKING OF WORK ETHIC... what's the point of striving to excel with taxes Obama plans to emplement. Do I think I will be making over 100,000 in the next four years (hopeful thinking)? NO, but what's the point of trying too? Why would I want to go back to school, spending money that to get an education that will allow me to make more money in a work place when I'm going to be giving a large portion of that money to people who POSSIBLY don't deserve it. Yes, some do, but some are lazy ass people who just sit on their butts all day and would rather live off of hand outs...why should I be one of the people that gives them a hand out? Why no sit back, watch some tv and decide not to get up for awhile...I'll still make money and this time I wont have to do anything for it. This is why I have no ambition...why i hate having a work ethic and wanting to always do my best, be my bed
(side note, i have nothing against the person, Barack Obama, I am actually proud to say America has a black president, even though he's only half black. But I dont agree with his policies and that does not make me racist, so shut up people! I dont care what you think about abortion, letting a baby die that has developed enough to breathe and cry outside of the womb is murder, not abortion. And I wont start on his health plans, i'm just praying I dont have a surgery in the next 4 years, God forbid I have to think about 8 years, that would be 12 years without surgery, i'm lucky when it comes to my surgeries but I dont think i'm that lucky.. sorry for the rambling, I"m going to support our President because thats what America is supposed to do, even though I can make a pretty accurate guess that 95% of the people who are bitching that "this is america support your president" have been doing anything BUT that the last couple of years with President Bush. So ya...breathe...exhale..done)
AND...I want a kitten
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