christianity is ridiculous

Don't start your assumptions or give me credit for the title. First off, I consider myself a christian and yearn to live my life fully for God, even though I know i fall short most of the time, and yes..therefore i'm calling myself ridiculous. Second, "Chrisitianity is Ridiculous" is the title for the lessons to come at 180 (campus outreach) this semester..which is what brought me to think of this.

I came to two conclusions tonight... One: I understand why people stay away from so-called christians or are turned away by christianity. Two: I feel like i'm on the right track and the people that bring me down are not the ones you'd expect.

One: God calls us to be HUMBLE.
dictionary.com defines humble as:not proud or arrogant; modest
so why aren't they? why do so many put others down, and try to make themselves out to be a god when they are no better than the guy next to him who spends every night getting high and sleeping with different girls. Each of us sins, each of us makes stupid mistakes, but that makes no one better that anyone else. Shouldn't CHRISTAINS be humbling themeselves to these people instead of being chauvinistic idiots parading around making the "non-christians" feel below them. God loves everyone, no matter what. His love is unconditional for a reason, WE ALL SCREW UP. I completely understand why people wouldn't want to be part of this, from seeing this christian facade. If i hadnt grown up in a church and didnt' already know the amazing perks and amazing-ness that is God my father, i wouldn't want to become part of it either. I dont see eye to eye with a handful of christians, and I am sorry....on the behalf of them i apologize that there are those handful that can make Christianity seem so un-Christ-like.If you dont know Christ..I pray that one day you will come to know the amazing, ever growing, never ceasing Love, Compassion and forgiveness of God... for those handful who give christains a bad name..i give u this to ponder on...
"be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit-just as you were called to one hope when you were called--one Lord, one faith, one baptist, one God and Father of all, who is overall and through all and in all."
ephesians 4:1-4

two: I am one to admit that i fail sometimes..ya know what, I'm wrong A LOT of the time, i dont always do things right, i lie, i sin...and yes i'm going to say it..I"M NOT PERFECT. but right now I love where my life is going and i feel like right now i'm on the RIGHT track. yes i think i'm in over my head right now with school and projects but "With God all things are possible" No, i may not end up with straight A's..God doens't promise me that, but he promises me time and strength and love to keep me going. I have Mark 10:27 written on my wall and looking at it and remmebering to breathe i don't get as stressed.
I may be lonely right now, but i'm where i need to be. I haven't had a boyfriend in over a year...and you know what I'm happy about that. I have someone I like a lot right now, but more than anything i value his friendship and if things work out..its not the title of relationship that i want..its just knowing he's within reach, a phone call away, able to give me a hug and tell me i'm stupid when i need to hear it.
I may not be hanging out with the most perfect christians, even worse..some maynot even fully believe (OMG!!!) but that doenst' make me or them any less of a person. the funny thing is, i've gotton to a point where they dont even bring me down, its some of the others that do. Its strange to see myself falter more around certain (not all of them..dont get me wrong) christains who are supposed to be my brothers/sisters in Christ, when instead they push me down and make me second guess friendships and beliefs. Thats not right...therefore, again I must be strong and move on. Its the only way for me to be who i yearn to be...its the only way to stay out of the hole that i so often get put in...i'm putting dirt in that hole and builiding a sand castle on top...