at work...

Right now I am at work, so I don’t know how well this entry is going to go (don’t get mad, I’m allowed to look around on the computer when I have nothing to do, and I’m actually typing this in Word, so as not to be on my blog at work..oh how I love to cut corners). I’ve just got some things I need to work out and sometimes the best way I can do that is through my fingers typing away at the computer I just don’t know what I”ll actually get to since I’m expecting a day of examining excel sheets in my future. :)

Plus, today seems to be starting out slow and I’m alone in my lovely intern office today. I’m enjoying the peace and lack of annoying bragging going on to my left, but I am kinda missing Kerri’s wacky stories, she really does meet the craziest people.

Is it bad that I sort of love my little corner mini cube? I mean yes, we have three interns shoved in a small office, but I do have the window of the office and I have my cute signs made to welcome me and my amazing penguin I made for an example at the Christmas in July Holiday Card Art Party. I showed Joe around Friday night, not inside but I asked him to drive me over here so he could see where I worked and so I of course could show him where the terrorists are planning their next attack.

No seriously, there is the most creepy building at the entrance of the CHOA office park. It used to be a Bellsouth Tower attached to a nasty looking motel, now it is well an empty tower surrounded by fences and barbed wire in parts, with a creepy motel that never has more than one car in front of it. The rest of the cars park underground, and there is a security guard that is there 24/7, ya Joe and I saw the guy watching tv in there at 9 at night… something shady is going on over there… I want to know what it is!

Jason just came back…I’m waiting for the “funny” story of the morning for the reason he is late…probably because he has his second interview for the job I want but can’t even interview for because I still have a year of college. Blah, stupid college.

Life just doesn’t like me right now, it’s the conclusion I’ve come to. I’m not going to be able to go into all I want to right now, partly because Jason just came back and mostly because I know those excel sheets are on their way to make my day, oh joy. But, I’ve never been so confused in my life, trying to be an adult sucks. I’ve finally let myself start thinking about the future and I’m scared out of my mind and no longer know what I want, which is almost scarier than knowing the answer and not liking it. I just want answers, I know I have to give it to God, but my “God box” is at school and I haven’t broken down to the point where I’m willing to give it up. It’s my stubborn nature, I’ve prayed about it, but letting someone else, even if it is God, have complete control over whats going to happen is going to be a process, and slowly I’m getting there.

Basically I’m just going to leave it at this…

“The word “Passion” comes from the latin word, passio which means ‘to suffer’.”

Sidenote: I really really do not like people that talk just to hear themselves talk and think everything they do and say is better than anyone else…yes I am talking about a particular person that I will so glad to not have to see again after this week.

p.s. I can’t believe my last post was just over a month ago, and how that was one of the first times I let myself think about the future this time and how twisted my mind has come since then…

break me…